Well We Didn’t Get In But Let’s Not Panic

Way, way back at the beginning of this year (remember, when the weather was cold and damp and…oh wait! *chortle at topical weather joke*) we were both ridiculously optimistic about applying to uni/drama school. We had ourselves quite convinced that we were DEFINITELY going to be accepted into at least one of the Big Drama Places and even had conversations about what would happen should we receive offers from multiple schools.
In fact, when asked if we would be going to our college graduation this coming November we would reply “well it depends if we’ll be in Glasgow or not” then shoot a knowing look at each other.
However, fast forward a few months and, as it turns out, it’s not to be. And that’s OK. Really.
As we both now realise, drama school isn’t the only way to be an actor. Yes, it’s a logical step towards getting a foot in the industry door but it’s not the only route. Some of the best actors in the world aren’t professionally trained and it is just down to what you feel is right.
What’s more, most drama institutions limit students to acting with no chance to foray into other aspects of the industry such as directing or writing which we think is vital because very few actors make a living purely through acting.

Of course, it’s a hard decision to make. If you’re still unsure on whether to apply or not or don’t know if drama school is for you, don’t forget at an audition, you are auditioning the school as much as they are you. We would advise applying to a few select schools just to get a feel for the buildings and what is expected of you at auditions. And we do mean a few select schools because remember its damn expensive and a lot of travelling. Unless of course you live in London; then it’s just expensive.
If you do decide it’s the way for you then do not give up, there’s always next year! A current LAMDA student auditioned 5 times before entry and the average at the Royal Conservatoire of Scotland is 4 times. It seems they favour persistence. If you really hate the idea and your studying days are over then be creative! We hope to be living proof of the latter – we’ll keep y’all posted.

Heather and Steph x

The 2013 DADAAs (The Drama school and Degree Audition Awards) sponsored by Megabus*

Welcome Ladies and Gentlemen to first annual (maybe) Drama school and Degree Audition Awards, hosted by Heather Hardcastle and Stephanie ‘The Bold Yin’ Boyle.

We are now at the end of our Drama School auditions. Having had 18 auditions, travelled approximately 18875.2 miles, spent a small fortune (we didn’t care to count that part) and got one recall between us, you might say we are experts on the matter!

So, without any further ado, let’s press on with the matter at hand.

Best Overall Audition: LAMDA
After a lengthy discussion of 5 minutes we have come to the agreement that the most deserved winner of the Best Overall Audition goes to … LAMDA!

Worst Overall Audition: Bristol Old Vic
Probably the easiest decision we have ever made. This goes to Bristol Old Vic. Not only was it the most difficult and stressful to get to, both panels appeared disinterested and neither of us ever want to visit the city ever again. Ever.

Best Accessory: ManMet Panel
Drama school audition panels are rife for jaunty scarves and flat caps and we both agreed that Manchester Met wins this award. However, we were unable to reach a unanimous vote so decided to split the award. Steph’s half of the award goes to ‘Victor Meldrew’ and his shiny shoes while Heather’s half goes to Mr Jaunty for his Cap At An Angle.

Most Intimidating Panel: RCS/Bristol Old Vic
Auditions are no walk in the park as everyone knows but for Heather The Royal Conservatoire of Scotland panel was consistent in its never ending list of terrifying questions. Stephanie however, decided on Bristol again.

Most Welcoming Panel: LAMDA
It consisted of two separate panels, each one warm and friendly. They weren’t intimidating in any way and the interview was a chat at most. The LAMDA audition panel were just lovely.

Best Value Value For Money
At £45 for the audition we went with Manchester Met. (Central was a close second!) They held a full workshop that included vocal/physical warm and all auditions were done in a group. We like a group audition.

Biggest Surprise: RADA/The Recall
Steph felt that looking back on the fuss we made over the RADA audition our behaviour seems totally ridiculous. The panel were lovely and it was by far one of the better ones. However we both agree they never we to feel nerves like it ever again.
Heather decided to go with The Recall. After 7 auditions without so much as a “see you soon” one of us finally got a recall. It was for Central and it was the most daunting experience ever experienced.

Most Drama School Drama School: RCS/Central
After much talk and discussion Heather decided to give her half of this prestigious award to The Royal Conservatoire of Scotland for its corridors of clarinet players and performance corner cafe. Stephanie went with Central. After all, we did spend a morning ‘squishing bananas’ and behaving like tigers.

Most Outrageous Fellow Auditionee: Atticus Hoy
It goes without saying that you will encounter the odd middle class student on the audition circuit but no one is more impressive than Atticus Hoy who we encountered at our LAMDA audition. Steph, however, is still adamant his name was, in fact, Olaf which we can all agree is equally as fabulous.

Least Value for Money: Bristol
I think it’s safe to say we really disliked Bristol.

Worst Journey: Glasgow to Bristol
The journey to London where a man snored the whole way was a close runner up in this category but, in the end, we had to give this award to Bristol. We both took different routes with Steph flying there and back and Heather bussing it through London. Each one was stressful, exhausting and upsetting in its own way.

And now for some thank yous
The audition process has been a long and winding road and we would like to thank those who made each audition that little bit more fun and less stressful. These are:
Rebby – for accompanying both of us to Napier (Steph) and Guildhall (Heather). Heather would like to personally thank her for the straight 6 hours spent in Wetherspoons
Sarah – who kept Steph company in Motherwell and even endured the horrendous trek to find breakfast.
Rebecca – whose company Heather most appreciated while auditioning for Motherwell especially when she referred to the college as an airport.
John – who, against his own will, travelled to all the way to Bristol via London to keep Heather sane.
Gregor – whose presence during our LAMDA auditions was both stressful and hysterical in equal measure. We particularly appreciated his consumption of a “baton” from Greggs while waiting on an overpriced pub to open.

That concludes the very first DADAAs. Thank you all for staying with us thus far. We can confirm nor deny a second year of awards but whatever happens we will keep you updated!

Heather and Steph x

*but not really because they don’t know we exist and we are still awaiting our loyalty cards

And Now The End Is Here

My last audition is also the last audition for both of us and the last drama school audition experience we’ll post on this blog (for the forseeable future). But fear not! We have LOADS of plans that we’ll keep you updated on. I can feel your excitement from here!

So, yes. My last audition, quite ironically, was on my doorstep. I’ve been up and down the country and here I am, finishing right back where I started. In case you haven’t already guessed, the audition was for the RSAMD. Sorry, Royal Conservatoire of Scotland. Or Royal Scottish as I found out throughout my various jaunts is what most people call it. God forbid you call it RCS; they’ll have your guts for garters.
An early start, I was there for 9 o’clock and greeted by a first year student who led me and the other auditionees into a lift and along a corridor where there was a little row of chairs for us to make ourselves comfortable.
It soon became apparent that the Conservatoire is the building which most closely matches the drama school stereotype; there was folk rehearsing lines in some corridors, others were carting several different musical instruments along other corridors and, in the cafe, people were studying sheet music like it was a matter of life and death.
Anywho, I digress. There was 25 people auditioning in total in 5 separate groups of 5 *counts fingers to make sure I got that right* however, one person didn’t show up for our group so there was only four of us left sitting outside the big, bad audition room.
All four of them were lovely fellas. One had auditioned last year and got a recall so was, quite rightly, a bag of nerves. I’d be lying if I saidI felt the same way. I’d decided a few auditions ago that drama school isn’t the right path for me. In fact, studying in general isn’t the right path for me for a while. So I was quite calm and collected about the whole thing.
I was called third and performed my pieces like I usually do. I felt there was no point changing things up now at this late stage. They went as well as I could have hoped for and I sat down for my interview. The panel consisted of a man and a woman whose names have escaped me (forgive me if either of you are reading this) who were both lovely. They caught me off guard as they were the only panel who actually asked about my speeches and why I chose them.
“Erm…”
To be honest, I don’t even remember what I said because I know it was a lot of rubbish. They also asked what i was doing at college and why, after three years of studying, did I want to study more?
It took everything to not look him in the eye and say “exactly” but I restrained myself and made up a long winded answer about “new surroundings” and “improving already gained skills in such a well respected establishment.”
And yes, I am cringing typing that. How did you tell?
Audition over, we were let go and told to meet in the cafe at 1 o’clock. It was barely after 10 so I took myself to my happy place: John Lewis. I pottered around the make up counters and treated myself to tea and cake in the coffee shop before making my way back.
25 or so auditionees gathered around one table in the cafe and waited on our guide to collect us for the tour and “to see the list”. She was a good half an hour late and I thought one guy was going to punch her when she eventually turned up but managed to restrain himself. The tour was quite rushed because we were all anxious to see The List. She left us waiting while she went to see if it was ready.
It wasn’t.
Cue a further 15 minutes of sitting around and making small talk with my peers. There was a guy whose accent I couldn’t place for ages and was convinced he had travelled miles and miles across the world to be there. He was from Belfast.
Amy The Guide came back and everyone leaned forwards in their seat to pick up their bags and go see The List.
“They’re just typing it out.”
Typing it out?! We waited that long I expected it to be handed to us in a personalised gold envelope with a wax seal.
We made even more small talk until finally…
“It’s ready.”
If you thought Mo Farah was fast in the Olympics it was nothing to the speed of some of these folk. I felt I had to put on a trot for fear of being left behind. We reached The List at the end of the corridor and there was 5 names on it. I wasn’t one of them. Nor was the guy who got the recall last year and it was fair to say he was gutted.
If I’m being honest it was a relief to not get the recall because I know it’s not what I want right now.

X Factor moment: I’ve loved the experience of all the auditions and the journeys (literally not metaphorically) up and down the country. I am a bit gutted I spent near enough £1000 only to decide it’s not what I want but there we go. At least it’ll be something to put in my autobiography, Heather: Hard Hearted Belter.

You Are The Voice Of The Mist

So, we were back in London last month (my, how time flies!) for our Central auditions and we just know that you have been on the edge of your seats waiting to hear how it went. Again we can only apologise for the delay but we have been a busy pair what with college productions and all!

Anyway – back to matter in hand! After a thankfully uneventful Megabus trip we arrive in London less than fresh faced around 7 in the morning. We head to Wetherspoons in Victoria for a lovely wee breakfast and catch a tube to Swiss Cottage. It’s not an easy find as it’s off the main road and a lot smaller than expected.

A shame the weather wasn’t like this when we went.

As we arrive we are greeted by numerous students. We are given a pink sheet and told to find someone with a pen and directed to a huge theatre space with lovely red seats! I think there is mild panic in the room as some people suspect this is our audition space. (I’d have preferred that but, sadly it isn’t!)

What lovely red seats!

We are instructed to fill in each of the separate sheets with our character, play and playwright. There must be around a hundred people and I have to say if this was my first audition I would have been terrified. Everyone is then taken to a large (not large enough for a hundred people I tell you!) performance space.

Now. I’m sure you all have laughed heartily and gasped in amazement at our witty blog titles; This one however, may have confused you! Not to worry … All is to be revealed.

When auditioning for drama school I expected the worst. ‘They are going to ask me to “become a tree” or some other weird shit and I am going to kill myself laughing. Thankfully that had never happened … Until NOW. Picture the scene: Around one hundred complete strangers squashed into a room with a large mirror and a small Austrailian (Possibly – It was hard to tell.) woman at the front yelling instructions. These instructions included: ‘Become the mist. Now, this is the voice with the mist! Say it with me! “THIS IS HE VOICE OF THE MIST!” You are a tree, feel the roots. You are a tiger, let’s roar!’ (this was my particular favorite as it included the BEST actions. Hands sweeping across the body as we ‘roared.’) Thankfully that lasted a short while and we were asked to take a seat.

There were numerous lists each given to a student who is now our guide for the day. Heather and I picked different pathways and we go our separate ways. The day would consist of three sections: the workshop, the tour and the speeches. This would happen at alternating points throughout the day.

Stephanie
My group have the CDT (Contemporary Devised Theatre) workshop first. What an experience. This was like the warm up all over again. We are asked to remove shoes and socks (what is with drama schools and bear feet?!) and are introduced to man and a woman. The man does most of the talking throughout the workshop. We were asked to do numerous tasks in the workshop including: ‘Be barbed wire … Now cotton wool … Now barbed wire wrapped in cotton wool.’ ‘You are the colour purple. YOU are NOT purple, you ARE the colour purple.’ We also skipped across the room individually and then in pairs. During this task we were reassured that it’s ok if we don’t remember how to skip – at least we will be going away with a new skill. We then work with our text which is refreshing.

I can safely say this was one of the strangest surreal mornings in my entire life. I may have made it sound ridiculous but that’s because it was. However, very enjoyable. Next we have the tour.

This is a great time for us to speak to the student guide (2nd year CDT student) I have to say the building is one of the most confusing experiences ever! I must say the facilities are fabulous, although I expected nothing less.

Finally we have the acting workshop. We are all lead into a small room with chairs either side. We are greeted by a man and a woman who explain that we will each perform our speeches when our name is called BUT we must not make eye contact with each other or applaud. I must say everyone is grand! We then break for lunch and are asked to return for the recalls later. I go to Subway with my group who are lovely .. I even meet Heather outside M&S!

Everyone regroups in another small performance space. Each of the students hold a list that the panels which to see again. If we are called we wait, if not we go! Simples. Two people from my group are called, one of them isn’t me. Heather is called on her list! How exciting!

I make my way back to my home from home (Wetherspoons), learn some GU. Might as well do something productive while I am here!

Central was an experience if nothing else. I think it’s a place you have to really go in with an open mind and not thin about what you’re being asked. Although it was a little wacky at times I think it is one of the paces I would audition again if I am to next year.

Heather
My group were led up some stairs and I quickly realised that, if I were to get into Central, I would never be able to find my way around the building. It was like a challenge straight out of The Crystal Maze.

We were led to a room where a man and woman in socked feet were awaiting us to lead our workshop. The workshops, I soon gathered would be different for each group depending on which pathways you picked and in what order. We were asked to remove our shoes which was all fine and dandy until some halfwit pipped up “shall we remove our socks too?” The amount of bare feet I have had to endure throughout this rehearsal process is unbearable (see what I did there? *smug laugh*)
Throughout the workshop were were asked to do all sorts of things such as “be barbed wire” and “move in a staccato fashion” and my personal favourite “run around the room and when I say ‘stop’ hug the person nearest you”. We were then asked to sing an excerpt from our chosen song. “Ah.” I thought, “this must be the musical theatre part of the audition”. Once that was done, we were free to go and rejoin out guide who then took us on a tour of the building. No wonder everyone I saw that day was no bigger than a size 8; the amount of stairs we had to climb up and down in that building is just silly. If the students aren’t already shattered from 9 hours of intense training everyday they’ll soon be ready for bed after a day simply walking around the school.
Tour done, we were led upstairs to perform out speeches. The audition guidelines for Central states you have to learn two Shakespeare speeches from the list provided and one contemporary of your choosing. The group got to watch each other audition which at the start of this process would have terrified me to my very soul but I know feel to be quite beneficial. *adjusts half moon specs*
Once we had all performed our speeches we were set free for a while to get lunch before meeting back in the hall where we had done our warm up that morning to hear the recall list.
My name was called!
I got a recall for Central! It’s the most bittersweet feeling I’ve ever experienced. On one hand, I was delighted because I got a recall for a big drama school but, on the other hand, I was gutted Stephanie didn’t get one plus I had more or less decided that I didn’t want to study next year.

The Recall
All those who were called on the list were then called again and told to stand beside either of three groups of students. This depended on if we were getting called back for Acting, Musical Theatre or CDT. My name was under the Acting list.
We were split up even further and led into a room where we were greeting by 3 lecturers. One movement, one voice and one a professional director who worked in the school. We were given both movement and voice warm ups by each lecturer then asked, one by one to present our second Shakespeare speech.
The recall process is quite simple: as far as I could make out it is there purely to see how well you can take direction. However, it was terrifying. Simple as it may sound it’s still a daunting experience and I know I’mmuch better than I came across in the recall. It didn’t make it any easier that they gave you a current student to work off who happened to be lovely looking. Ahem.
We were let go shortly after and I made my way back to Victoria to meet Stephanie to enjoy a nice burger in Wetherspoons.

So, that’s us. Drama school auditions finito! Don’t worry your little selves though because we won’t leave you alone for long. We’ll be back to let you know what we’re up to which will no doubt be thrilling for all of us.

Reunited And It Feels So Good

We were reunited in The Big Smelly City several weekends ago (apologies, again! We really do feel quite bad) as we both had our LAMDA auditions.

When applying to Lamda we decided against auditioning in London and, instead, opted for the Edinburgh option which – although Edinburgh – is much closer to home and therefore cheaper to get to.

You should not be able to see Primark from the top of a castle.

We decide to go with bus travel since its half the price and it’d feel like we’re cheating on Megabus getting the train. This means another 6am start. Boo. The theatre is reasonably easy to find and despite its name, Bedlam theatre, it’s a lovely wee place. We are greeted by a very enthusiastic Scottish second year student called Megan – My God, I remembered a name! Hurrah! Which is handy because Heather didn’t and originally wrote “Holly” – as we enter what is apparently ‘the green room’ of the theatre. It’s covered in vintage Fringe posters which excited us much more than the audition itself.

For LAMDA its simple: one classical and one contemporary monologue of your choice lasting no longer than 3 minutes. Your speeches are performed in front of a panel of 2 and then a short interview is held by another 2 people in a separate room.
Neither of us are all that nervous. We booked tickets to see The Vagina Monologues later on that night and we’re more excited about that. We both also really want to go to the pub. We’ll get down to the audition now or this whole blog will end up a rant against Edinburgh prices.
(£11 FOR A SANDWICH AND A VODKA!)

Heather’s up first.

Heather: I walk into the auditorium where an elderly man and younger woman are sitting in half darkness. They are both very lovely. They write down the names of my plays and ask me to stand in the spotlight (SPOTLIGHT! We audition ON THE ACTUAL STAGE. It’s like A Chorus Line!) to do my speeches. I notice in the dim light that the man has several packets of Halls, Lockets and Soothers in front of him. Nothing worse than a ticklely throat.
I do my speeches as best I can, thank them both and Enthusiastic Megan shows me into another little room where two more people are waiting to interview me. Although they call it “a chat” to try and soothe the nervous ones. A man (an ex student) and a lady (I can’t remember her job title but I can tell you she was from Elgin) ask me the usual questions which I now realise I answered in my most common Glaswegian accent. Must be a subconscious protestation against The Capital. They offer me the chance to ask a question and I ask how they decide who gets in. They tell me they both mark you out of 5 and the other panel make you out of 10 each which I found interesting and I wonder if all drama schools have the same procedure. Audition over, I leave and rejoin the others in the Vintage Poster Room to wait on Stephanie.

Stephanie: I have a mild panic as I realise the audition is actually on the stage of the theatre. How exciting. And you’re lit! How wonderful! Heather returns assuring me they are lovely. Tbh I find myself not entirely bothered about the whole thing…
It’s my turn. I’m led down to the stage entrance and feeling slightly nervous now. I sit on the edge of the stage and the kind ageing man explains proceedings. I go with Shakespeare first. We’ve been asked to stay in the light and I find myself pacing. A LOT. Oh, well. That done I perform my contemporary. It’s been a while and for the life of me I can’t remember what I done. I can only but apologise.
I thank the panel and leave. Back to green room to wait for my interview. There’s a mild kerfuffle as one panel member has to pee. That done I’m in to meet a lecturer and a graduating student who are lovely!
As I take my seat and I feel like a child! It’s huge and had a massive back and the whole way through the interview its all I can concentrate on. They ask about where else I have applied to. As I rhyme off a massive list I realise how utterly crazy I am – having said this I don’t regret any of it!
Interview done. I am looking forward to food, an alcoholic beverage and The Vagina Monologues!

Thanks for staying with us!
Heather & Steph x

We Beg Your Pardon

Well we can only apologise!
There you are, sitting there pressing refresh every hour on the hour, wringing your hands with anticipation, “how did they get on at the last audition? Have they given up the blog? It can’t be!”
You can now breath a sigh of relief for here we are!

Back in all our glory.

We’ve both been very busy (stressed) with college over the past few weeks but we have cleared a window to let you know how we got on at our days at LAMDA & Central. Both blogs will be up ASAP.
Enjoy!

Heather & Steph

Does Your Motherwell That You’re Out?

I’m nearing the end of my audition experience. I can see the light at the end of the long, dark tunnel illuminating dramatic quotations every few feet.
Today, I found myself in Motherwell at an audition for their top up course. As I’m becoming more and more disillusioned with the idea of drama school and a further three years studying, a one year top up course sounds right up my street.
I arrived quite early on account of my dad giving me a lift and not knowing where we were going but luckily Rebecca, who I know from college, arrived two minutes later and we made pals with a few other auditionees who were as eager as we were.
My first impression of the college was summed up perfectly by Rebecca who said “it looks like an airport!” which is very true. There’s a salon and everything inside the campus!
When the clock struck 9 we were led up a winding staircase and into a library where we were asked to write an essay on the computers. They gave us a question regarding the National Theatre of Scotland. I babbled a lot of rubbish but as soon as the man said there was 15 minutes left I suddenly came up with loads of brilliant ideas and done my best to make sense of them on the page which I very much doubt worked.
Afterwards, we were led into a studio and given some games and improvisation exercises to relax us by a man who reminded me a bit of Paul Hollywood with his silvery grey hair. I was paired with a fabulous boy and as it turned out we’re both fans of cake and in denial over our love for One Direction.
They asked us to line up our seats in two lines behind each other to form ‘the audience’ and we got down to brass tax. That is, the audition speeches. Although we were asked to prepare two speeches as is every audition we were asked to pick our best one to perform first. The other would be saved for if/when you got a recall. Both me and Rebecca done or Little Gem speeches and nearly passed out with shame when we realised there was a real Irish girl there. We were having to do her own accent in front of her! It was mortifying. I was called third to last. I hate a wait; it makes me nervous and I just want to get up and do it.
Once everyone had performed their speech we were given a lunch break while the panel (aforementioned Hollywood Hair and another lady) deliberated over who would receive a recall.
I’m going to spoil the surprise right now and tell you I was unsuccessful and didn’t get recalled. It was a bit like Glee; they pinned a list up on the door with the names of those they wanted to see again. It was really a step away from people wearing leg warmers and doing high kicks on tabletops.
I was disappointed because the course sounded brilliant and it’s only one more year but more than that; the cafe was incredible. They sold donuts and slush puppies.

Three to go! I’m almost there. Please don’t give up on us now.

Heather

London Calling at the Top of the Dial

Guildhall.

I must say I was looking forward to this audition for a while. Travelling to London alone however, not so much. Thankfully Heather has took pity on me and came with me! Yay! Obviously we took the Megabus. I am now convinced there is no other worthy method of travel in UK. It has been a crutch, a saviour and if we do not end up with some kind of recognition, even a wee loyalty card – then something is terribly wrong.

Anyway – bus leaves at midnight. Having been at work til 7pm its safe to say I am shattered! I’ll definitely sleep on the bus, no problem. I mean we even have a seat with a table! HA! How wrong I was! Not only did the bus make umpteen unplanned stops and arrive a good hour or so behind schedule, Heather was mugged for her water by a man who obviously thought he was Beyonce and the World’s worst snorer had a glorious sleep all the way from London to Glasgow, much to the dismay of every other passenger on the bus.

When we eventually arrive tired and slightly emotional we have time enough to treat ourselves to a Wetherspoon’s breakfast at Victoria before we’re off again. Tube to Barbican. This is all very confusing and I have to say I doubt I would have worked the journey out on my own. When we get off the tube the place is very helpfully sign posted and we find the school no problem. The thing is, my audition is at Sundial court. After a fight with Google maps and an impromptu visit to the busiest Tesco I have ever experienced I eventually arrive.

I have to buzz. Aw man! I hate buzzing! The door opens and we depart. I am greeted by a security guard. I swear to God it’s Dave Grohl. As The Pretender plays in my head I forgot I need to actually follow his instructions and quickly come to my senses. I have to make a short trip across a court. I arrive in what appears to be the Student Union. There are a few people here already chatting. I strike up a conversation with a girl from Inverness. For anyone who has never experiences this, Scottish people are very excited to meet other Scottish people.

A few minutes later we are led into a room by 2 men and a girl. I must say they are VERY … Well, English. They take a register and realise there is some confusion as there are also auditions being held at the school. Us that are in the correct place are given a number and asked to write our prepared pieces down. The run down of the day is explained: a warm will take place and then we will be called in one by one for our auditions and a short interview.

Warm up time. After we have all removed socks and shoes (eeiiiwwww) we are greeted by a man and a woman. The man is a happy soul and very enthusiastic. He takes the warm up as the woman observes and says very little. We are told that the warm up is solely for our benefit and we are not being assessed, thankfully since it included a race between a ‘zen lawnmower’ and a ‘frustrated type-writer.’ (It was a draw for anyone who is interested.) I must say it was a lot of fun! That done, we are led back to the room, dawning socks and shoes.

The number is the order of auditions. I’ll be fourth so time for a chat while we wait and everyone is lovely. ANOTHER Scottish girl is here and it turns out one of the graduates is the wee boy from My Parents Are Aliens – How exciting! I feel very relaxed and then, my name is called by the other lovely looking graduate. As we wait outside the room we have a lovely chat! He even supports Celtic. What a guy!

Time to begin. I let them know I’ve decided to go with Little Voice first as the woman says ‘Little Voice in a little voice.’ Really not helpful but I let it go. We have been informed that Guildhall encourage eye-contact with the panel so I direct it all to them. Ok, so screaming in their faces may no have been the best idea but it went alright. They ask for Taming of The Shrew next. Done and without any mistakes. Interview time. I feel this is the place where I fall down in most of my auditions but I do my best. I think they think I am crazy. That may have something to with me informing them that I think Kate is gong to kill her husband but I think that is a reasonable assumption! I feel it’s always good to ask questions so I go with ‘Is there opportunity for other projects on the course that don’t involve acting?’ It goes down like a led balloon and since I’ve already been shot down for calling it a university instead of a drama school I have a very strong feeling I am not what Guildhall is looking for and Guildhall is not what I am either.

I can either wait til everyone has been auditioned to find out if I have a recall or I can call the net day. Since Heather is walking around London on her own I decide on the latter and me and my new friend Lisa (the girl from Inverness) make our way back to Piccadilly. (Another journey I would have struggled to make without anyone’s help!)

Slowly but surely I am starting to realise that drama school may not be the right path for me. I have a mere two auditions left, which I will still try my best at but I will not be disappointed if it’s not to be. It’s just a shame it’s taken a small fortune for me to realise it.

Hello! It’s Heather. My, this is exciting; popping up in another post. For anyone who happens to be the slightest bit interested in what I did while alone in London I am here to relieve you of your nosiness.
After I left Stephanie alone at a buzzer I found my way back to the Barbican Centre and had a little pray. After all, this is where Les Miserables was first staged all the way back in 1985. I was home! I then had some fun on the tube ending up in Leicester Square. I decided to visit a few of the many discounted ticket vendors dotted around the area to see if there was anything cheap enough for two poor students to see. One Man Two Guvnors for £15? That’ll do us!
Feeling pretty smug with myself I went on a pilgrimage to the National Portrait Gallery to see Emmeline Pankhurt’s portrait. I’m not sure if it was the hours and hours we’d spent travelling or what but I found myself with a tear in my eye. I almost felt like I should have brought my first polling card with me and wrote “Thanks” on it. So I made myself feel better by visiting the gift shop and buying Steph a card with an Oscar Wilde quote as a present. My, I’m a good pal. Having been quite cultured already I decided to attach myself even further and visit the National Gallery and see the Van Goghs.
I had a rare time!

Steph (and sort of Heather) x

The Daniel Day Lewis Method

Last Saturday I spent, in total, 18 hours travelling to and from Bristol for a 15 minute audition. Before I tell you about it, let me start with an apology. I’m sorry for how long it’s taken me to sit down and write this blog but I have been very busy with a lot of other stuff. Like my birthday. I take it your presents are in the post?
Anyway, grovelling over, let’s carry on. Because my audition was on a Saturday and EasyJet have mental health problems there was no return flight for me so the only way I could travel was by bus. I bussed from Glasgow to London, London to Bristol then back again. I’m hoping if anything comes from this blog it’s a sponsorship deal from Megabus.
When I eventually arrived in Bristol to say I wasn’t overly enamoured with my surroundings would be an understatement but I tried to keep positive. After all, look at the acting heavyweights who have graced Bristol’s streets from Patrick Stewart to Olivia Colman via Daniel Day Lewis. “It must have something”, I thought to myself, staring in the window of a Poundland.
After being underwhelmed by the city centre and hearing not one west country twang I took a taxi to the Old Vic theatre school. I had to repeat this phrase to the taxi driver 4 times before he understood. He pulled up outside a few grand looking townhouses which it took me far too long to realise was the drama school.
I pressed the buzzer and was greeted a very obvious drama student:
“Hello, can I help you?”
“I’m here for an audition!”
“Oh!!! You need the other building. Break one!”
I misheard the last sentence and thought she was inviting me to pass gas.
I buzzed into building number two and was greeted a kindly Liverpudlian on reception who gave me a copy of an excerpt from Alice In Wonderland (the sight reading part of the audition) and showed me through to The Waiting Room. Two other auditionees were already in said room and it became apparent very quickly that they weren’t up for the general chit chat audition small talk I’ve now become used to. I sat down and looked over my sight reading. I glanced up at the boy sitting across from me who looked like he was about to either mess his pants or already had. Poor soul can’t have had many auditions yet.
The girl was eventually called through to her audition leaving me and Messy Pants alone. Do I strike up conversation? No, he doesn’t really look up to it. Smile? I’ll smile, there’s nothing wrong with a smile. Oh, was that too much of a beam for such a serious occasion? Perhaps I shouldn’t have showed tooth. But then it might have seemed like a smirk and you don’t want to be known in the audition circuit as her that smirks to unsettle your nerves.
“Heather Hardcastle”
Oh. My turn. A man is waiting to show me through. I’d noticed him earlier but assumed he’d walked into the wrong building as he was dressed for a day spent hillwalking. He introduced himself as he showed me through to another room where a well kept but quite clearly theatrical woman was waiting. She had half moon specs, pearly pink lipstick and hair so bouffant she looked like she’d walked straight out of an Elnett ad.
The interview was first. Bouffant conducted the whole thing while Hillwalker sat back in his chair the whole time looking at me. I thought it might be some sort of test but in hindsight he’s probably just bored out his mind of auditioning folk by now.
Performance time. I perform a Shakespeare, contemporary and a song in that order. They go as well as I can hope for. Bouffant then asks for my sight reading.
“Engage us. Make it light hearted and fun” is the brief she gives me. Hillwalker hasn’t moved an inch since the audition began. It’s quite unnerving.
Done. They – I mean she – asks if I have any questions. I ask something along the lines of course diversity which sounded amazing in my head but didn’t come out the same way. I wanted to know if they allowed you to foray into directing or writing but instead I got a very long answer about how it’s an acting course but they do stage a musical at the end of third year.
OK.
I’m let go and go back through to The Waiting Room to collect my things. Messy Pants is still sitting there. The poor boy’s going to have a nervous breakdown in a minute.

I don’t think Bristol is the school for me but all auditions are an experience. That’s one experience, however, I’d rather not repeat in a hurry.

Good luck and I’ll let you know when your birthday cards arrive,
Heather

They Say Home is Where the Heart Is.

Today I am facing a short trip to the RSC .. sorry ‘The Royal Conservatoire of Scotland. I must say another short journey is just lovely compared to miles I’ve travelled.

I arrive and the man at reception assumes I’m here for a juniour course. Made my day. After the misunderstanding is cleared up I am directed to a smaller reception area and asked to wait beside two other auditionees.

We sit in silence for some time and every so often the girl beside me giggles to herself. The woman in reception remarks on how quiet we are, putting it down to nerves. She assures us ‘they just want the best for us!’ I have to admit, I am not nervous in the slightest. If anything I’m bored! Maybe this resolute attitude could be a good thing. Go in and expect nothing.

We are led to a room by a man with very volumous hair. My I am jealous! It’s a little awkward as giggles and the other girl have struck up a friendship. I totter on ahead. We wait outside a room as he informs the panel of our arrival. This place is everything I imagine drama schools should be. There’s people rehearsing and reading lines aloud in the corridor, harps being transported all over the place. Fascinating but incredibly off putting.

I am first. I am greeted by an older man and younger woman with glasses. They are very welcoming and have actually gotten out of their chair to greet me! How nice. The woman explains that I’ll do my speeches, followed by a short interview and asks which I’ll do first.

Little Voice. Feeling good. A little concious of the fact the people outside can probably hear me screaming like a loony. Oh well. Done.

Julia. I notice my hands are shaking as I start. How annoying! Didn’t mess any lines up. Win!

Interview. They ask how I enjoy college. As I finish my answer they stare blankly as if theyre wanting more .. five questions later and we’re still going. My, they are thorough! I can’t help but feel they were looking for an answer I didn’t give them. I am informed that I have now to wait until half one to find out if I have a recall. How do I fill that time?!

On the way back from the shop (time killer) I meet a girl from Motherwell. Yay! I have friends. We chat until she has to leave for her audition.

If coming for an early audition here I suggest you bring something to do. My iPod is almost out of battery and my phone is on its last legs. How upsetting!

I bump into the girls who auditioned with me and they invite me to Subway with them. My faith in the ‘youth of today’ may be restored. It’s crazy how young they are. Barely 17 and I have to say that takes some balls. I admire that.

Eventually after a long wait it’s tour time! This guy is awesome. Walking about with a can of Pepsi like he couldn’t give a fuck! He decides the list on the door is much more interesting than the library and leads us there as he states ‘if your name isn’t on the list, it’s not the end – it’s just the beginning.’ Wise.

3 names. 3 NAMES! I’m not one of them, unsuprisingly. It all gets very awkward as the group of us disperse. One girl, who has travelled from Norway is understandably gutted. And I thought London was far!

7 auditions down, 3 to go. A terrifying prospect but what ever the out come I have to say i’ll be glad when its over.

Thanks for sticking with us! Wishing you luck,

Steph x